My son is ONE this week and Whoah what a rollercoaster of overwhelming happiness, but also sadness at the same time.

He’s growing up and he’s beautiful and I’m so insanely proud of him and excited about what is to come but my oh my does time fly and looking back at his newborn pics brings tears to my eyes.

We really must cherish every moment. Through all the sleep deprivation, frustration, and times of guilt and pressure it’s so important to just stay in the moment of NOW and enjoy our bubbas, because in the grand scheme of their life it’s such a precious time. With all the things we are told we need to do or should have, what training we must put them through and yada yada let’s just take it back to basics, Breath, and remember most of all they just need LOVE, LOVE and LOVE and the rest we can figure out as we go along.

I will never judge anyone with kids again. Honestly, whatever works for you boo! Lol.

We all remember when we were child free and ignorant to parenting and our friends with children telling us how hard it is,

but also how much they love their kids and it’s like- well obviously, but, you really can’t imagine it until your living it. I remember feeling worried and guilty when I was pregnant that I wouldn’t feel that ” I would die for him” love and then when you see their face for the first time and your like I get it now! ? :sob:

Babies are so amazing and fulfilling and so full on,

they sure do keep us on our toes.

The hardest full time job in the world, no days off and the challenges keep arising. Just when you think you know your baby and you got a nice little routine going then BOOM they switch it up on you and it’s like your back at square one trying to figure things out all over again.

And then COVID-19 sweeps in and it’s like flipping eck!

It didn’t feel like my life changed too much at the beginning of lockdown, I think new mums can relate in that, we spend a lot of time in isolation anyway. But it then turned out to be a pretty horrible time for me as my father passed away at the end of April, an unexpected sudden death which was a terrible shock. A huge loss for me and many others who loved him.

I had all the emotions of this loss, and had to try and keep it together for my baby. It was sooo hard because I didn’t want him to see me crying. Just like animals, babies can sense when we are down, I remember my cat used to come and sit on my lap when I cried and it was almost the same with my son, I realised throughout this that I really need him just as much as he needs me.

Having my baby and watching him blossom has been the best time of my life, and losing my dad was also the worst time of my life. My dad was my rock and best friend and all round such an incredible energy, if your into music check him out on Spotify/ YouTube etc: ELISHA BLUE

Losing a parent really brings a lot of things to the surface and who you are and life in general. And I’m still going through the grieving process of acceptance.

But throughout all the pain, I’m so grateful I have my boy,

I honesty don’t think I could of coped the way I have been without him.

He has been my rock without even knowing. And I can see my dad in him. Children also teach us about ourselves and it’s a beautiful blessing, we grow with them, we guide them but they actually show us how to.
Even in the hardest of times we will always find a way. Because we are mothers and that’s what we do.

By the way, did anyone else’s baby freak out when seeing other people again for the first time when lockdown was over? My boy was offensive with it LOL. You know how babies can sniff out bad vibes real fast, I knew it was because he was just stranger shy, and that separation anxiety was in full effect, but it was pretty funny when people were taking it so personal.

I love the saying, like the moon we go through phases.

And I think it’s really important to remember this when parenting. Nothing is permanent! That can be a positive and a negative. However change is the only constant and it’s something to embrace.

But throughout all the stress and sleepless nights ( yes he still keeps me up all night feeding off me, for anyone who needed to hear this, sis you are not alone!! ) and that responsibility that is non stop and forever, however the love pushes us through and motivates us to be the best we can for our little loves.